I grew up in Tucson, Arizona. I spent the first 25 years of my life there (with the exception of vacations.) I complain about it quite a bit, especially the heat. I don't like the heat, and I don't like deserts. For those who aren't familiar with the geography of the southwestern United States, here is a map:

(click for big map)

What do you want to read me complain about? Desert! Heat! Cactus! or read about the Attractions? Or you can look at some Pictures that I've taken and commented on.

I've got a few designs that I've made about the heat, actually. They're available in t-shirts and a variety of other stuff:
"But it's a DRY Heave"	"But...but...but it was a dry heat!"	"The next person who tells me "But it's a dry heat" is going to eat my fist!"

Desert!

Tucson is located in the Sonoran Desert, which is a hot desert full of cactus and other prickly so-called-plants. Everything has thorns. The trees are mostly mesquite and palo verde, neither of which qualifies as a "real" tree in my opinion. Mesquite trees have leaves the size of lentils, arranged sort of like ferns. Oh, and did I mention they have thorns? Apparently they have a hybrid that is thornless, but you won't be finding that outside a professionally landscaped setting. Palo Verde are trees that again have virtually no leaves. Their leaves are more like brittle hair. The trunks are green and feel waxy ("palo verde" means "green wood" in Spanish.) They smell funny. Both of these trees stay pretty short. In fact, very few trees grow even as high as the roof of a two-story building. Not that you'll find many two-story buildings in Tucson. The architecture tends toward the ugly red cinderblock/faux adobe blocky one story houses. Many houses have flat, gravel-covered roofs.

Heat!

My main complaint is the heat. People always say "but it's a dryyyyy heat!" as if that helped. Sure, 90º with high humidity might feel like 98º ... but 113º even with no humidity feels like... you guessed it! 113º! Dry heat is also more dangerous and death due to dehydration is a serious concern in Arizona. Here are a few other things that people don't realize: The two hottest months, July and August, are also the "monsoon season" which is the period of time where Arizona gets most of its rain. Therefore, during those two hottest months, it is often also humid. Many homes in Arizona have "swamp coolers" rather than air conditioners. They don't work as well at the best of times, and they don't work at all if it is humid.

Another thing people don't factor in is the intensity of the sun. Without the moisture in the air to filter it, the sun is very dangerous. "Arizona has the highest rate of skin cancer among the 50 states and one of the highest rates in the world!" (See some safety tips)

Cactus!

I'm not a fan of cactus. Not even when they are blooming. The most famous cactus is, of course, the saguaro. These are the ones with the big "arms" that you see in all the cartoons. They are definitely impressive and they can certainly be interesting and even entertaining, but they're ugly. A lot of people don't realize how HUGE they can get. The tallest one on record was 58' tall (17.6 meters,) and the record for the most arms is 143. They aren't that dangerous because the thorns are like wood and they're long, straight, fairly thick, and stiff. They also snap off pretty easily. The ones you have to watch out for are the really thin ones (they stick into your skin easier) and the ones with barbs.

The worst cactus has to be the cholla. It's sometimes called the "jumping cactus" because the pieces break off and seem to jump onto you. The best way to describe them is to say that they look like a bunch of strings of link sausage standing up on end. Link sausage made from what appear to be cute, fuzzy teddy bears. The individual links break off very easily. They're covered with thorns so thick you can barely see through them. If you brush against one, it will stick to you. To get them off, you take two sticks and put them under and then pop it off. Then you spend the next 10 minutes getting all the thorns out. The segments also fall off and get moved around on the ground, and you often can't see them because of the dry, sand colored "grass" that is all over the place. You can't see them until they're embedded into your shoe, that is. They'll pierce right through the top of sneakers in seconds flat. I hate them.

The landscape for the most part is dreary and dismal. Here is an example. Here is another.

Attractions! Yeah, there are a few.

— 07:28:17 AM
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