What is up with fortune cookies, Part II

This is a followup to my previous article, What is up with fortune cookies these days? which I wrote after friends and I received some very strange “fortunes” in our fortune cookies.

Well, it’s happened again. Different restaurant. Three of these are just weird. One of those three is just stupid. Then the fourth one is just made of 100% pure awesome, and it was, appropriately, the one in my cookie.

The first weird one...

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What is up with fortune cookies these days?

When I was growing up, I seem to recall that fortune cookies contained things like “you will meet a tall, handsome stranger” or cute little “Confucius say…” type phrases. These days it seems like they’re…um…different?

We ordered Chinese delivered tonight and each of us got a cookie. Here is what our “fortunes” were:

“You have a sincere desire to improve”
This one actually works well with the “-in bed” suffix, so it gets my approval.

“Lucky you....

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Clinton Campain + Bubblewrap!!!

I was contacted yesterday by a representative of Hillary Clinton’s campaign team asking if they could license my Virtual Bubblewrap for use in her newest online campaign ads. We haven’t worked anything out for sure yet, we’re still in the talking phase. Some of the ideas we’ve discussed are replacing the “random noise” bubbles’ sounds with sound bites from Hillary’s political speeches, or having the background be a picture of Hillary once all the...

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In which I defend a position nobody has ever actually challenged me on...

Laundry is a pretty dull task, and so one’s mind does tend to wander in the course of doing it.* For some inexplicable reason, my mind tends to wander into the more esoteric nooks and crannies of the fascinating topic of…um…doing the laundry. I could be daydreaming about movie stars or sex or thinking of something useful like planning dinner or trying to remember how to do statistics problems… but more often I think about...

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Another Installment of Absurdist Mail Theater

Incredible! I have in my hands another piece of the most ludicrous mail I’ve ever received. Yet again, sent by hopped-up religious zealots. Now, I have nothing against Christians in general, but these goofy fringe loonies just get to me. I can’t take them seriously. This one came in an envelope all marked up in silliness, just like the other one did. The best part was on the back:

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This Mail Can't Be Real?!

Ok, I get a lot of junk mail, and I throw most of it away. Every now and then, however, something really stands out. Sometimes it looks inviting. Sometimes it looks cool. And then sometimes it looks so unbelievably stupid and scary, you just have to open it. That was the case today when I checked the mail. Seems some slightly over-caffeinated Christians decided to send out some really weird shit. What caught my eye...

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NASA Hid PROOF of Extra-terrestrial Life

I was first drawn to examine NASA photographs taken on the moon when I saw the photographic proof* on Seethruart’s pursuasive webpage. When he showed proof that the NASA astronauts were stepping on tiny alien shuttles, and proof that there were tiny flying crafts hiding in the rocks (see closeup!!) I knew he was onto something. These were not ordinary “rocks and dirt” that NASA had been leading...

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Terms of Endearment: The Evolution of Nicknames

When my ex-husband and I were dating we were obscenely sweet and cutsie. We had the typical nicknames for each other at first…

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LOL? the Long Ongoing List

The standard chat environment abbreviation “LOL” is commonly thought to mean “Laugh(ing) Out Loud,” but how do we that is what it means? Just because someone tells us so? Might there be another, secret, meaning? Let’s examine the (viewer submitted) possibilities….

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The Maxipad Incident

I was in 8th grade, living with my dad in Florida. This was the year they invented maxipads with “wings” but earlier in the year. As those of you who have used the “pre-wing” pads know…

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