This is a followup to my previous article, What is up with fortune cookies these days? which I wrote after friends and I received some very strange “fortunes” in our fortune cookies.

Well, it’s happened again. Different restaurant. Three of these are just weird. One of those three is just stupid. Then the fourth one is just made of 100% pure awesome, and it was, appropriately, the one in my cookie.

The first weird one says:
The man who does more than he is paid for will soon be paid for more than he does.
Nice sentiment. I guess that’s made to make people who work their asses off for crappy wages feel like somehow things will get better. I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Next up we have this odd piece of advice:
Take your time today so you won’t walk in mud.
Ok then. I suppose…that’s…a good idea. You know, if it was muddy out. Or maybe they are trying to be philosophical and metaphorical, in which case I think they shouldn’t quit their day job—assuming their day job isn’t writing this crap.

Now this one is just plain stupid:
Keep your goals away from the trolls.
Yeah. Whatever. A poet, you ain’t.

But here… here is the masterpiece. The crowning glory of all fortunes in all fortune cookies from the beginning of time, and it was bestowed on me my friend. Me.
Night people: “Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter.”
Damned straight! Haven’t I been saying that for years? Ok I haven’t, but I’ve been thinking it! Or I would have been thinking it, if I’d thought of it. The point is, it’s true and it’s how I live my life. And now I can say that some anonymous fortune cookie writer backs me up on it, which gives me some street cred, right?

As with the previous batch, these also have us learning some Chinese words and phrases on the backs. They are as follows:
LEARN CHINESE – Dish
LEARN CHINESE – Spring
LEARN CHINESE – Excuse me
and of course:
LEARN CHINESE – Apple
Because how many of us can really say that we haven’t been there, when we really needed to say “apple” and everything would have been different if only we’d just known Chinese…

— 05:14:10 PM
[948]

Read/Post Comments

• Share this page | | | | | | | | |

Comments

Next in this category: Calling all Tellers of Tall Tales!